Problem employees

I’ve been hearing and reviewing so many comments from folks about relationship problems brewing and blowing up at the workplace. There is also much around the Internet about folks feeling uncertainty about how to confront negative effects of unacceptable employee behavior.

In today’s economic times, it seems that anger and stress are major contributing factors to problem employees.

First let me add that there are tons of great seminar opportunities available that provide a great platform for discussion on effective techniques for taking on tough situations with confidence and professionalism.

In the meantime, if anybody has some brief worthwhile tidbits that they would like to share, please let us know.

Following are some suggestions we’ve heard or read about when dealing with such headaches at the office:
• Go to the person directly with whom you have the conflict – not through a third party because it can get muddy and convoluted and increase the level of stress and anger. I recommend third party involvement if direct communication is not available and/or if there are serious reasons why you may need to protect yourself.
• Anger generally boils inside of someone when that person feels that he/she isn’t being heard. The person with whom you have a conflict with, go to that person and be willing to listen. Speak in the “I” language and watch out for the dangerous “you” statement. I hear what you are saying….I want you to be more sensitive to my needs….tell the person what you need with the use of “I” rather than using the word “you” like “you need to change” which is a no-no.
• “I understand that you disagree but I guess we see things differently” may be the final result.
• One person’s right to be angry does not mean the other person is to blame.
• Agree to disagree!!

One recommended book that covers all types of relationship problems is The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. http://www.harrietlerner.com/pages/dance_of_anger.htm